Do you have an anxious partner? Are you tired of fixing your relationship again and again?
Do you think it is because of anxiety?
Are you confused whether it is anxiety or something else that is ruining your relationship?
The answer to all these questions lies in this article. Many people around us are suffering from a generalized anxiety disorder.
Being in a relationship with someone who has anxiety
Anxiety in any form is difficult to deal with if we are not able to understand it. Anyone around us can be suffering from it and anxiety in a relationship is something that must be dealt with proper knowledge and understanding in order to save the relationship.
The article is a complete guide to understand the signs, causes, and effects of anxiety. And most importantly, after reading this article you will hopefully get the questions you have in your mind regarding anxiety and how to deal with it.
How can we define and understand the generalized anxiety disorder?
Being in a relationship with someone who has anxiety is quite difficult. You sometimes get confused, how to diagnose your partner’s anxiety. That’s why first you have to know about what anxiety actually is?
“Excessive, persistent and unreasonable fear about everyday things like money, family, study, work or relationship, is called Anxiety”.
Even sometimes the thought of getting through a day causes anxiety. If the anxiety is persistent and it doesn’t seem to go away, it is characterized as a generalized anxiety disorder. It is usually more than someone else might feel. Most of the time, it is unreasonable. People often know that their anxiety is excessive and unreasonable but they don’t know how to stop it.
Signs and symptoms of anxiety
People with generalized anxiety disorder often feel debilitated and have trouble with the simplest daily activities. They hesitate to interact socially.
Sometimes the feeling might worsen or it may improve with time. In addition to having symptoms of worries and anxiety, other symptoms include edginess and restlessness, difficulty in concentrating, and feeling like the mind just goes blank.
These psychological symptoms can also lead to physical manifestations of symptoms like digestive problems from eating more or eating less, they might also have muscle weakness and soreness because of tension in their muscles.
Finally, difficulty in sleeping is a real common symptom that can have a serious impact on physical well-being. Since the body is not resting, it can lead to issues of chronic fatigue.
What are some common causes of anxiety?
According to a recent survey by the National Institute Of Mental Health, anxiety is the most common illness with which more than 40 billion adults are being diagnosed every year.
Anxiety is an uncomfortable feeling about anything. It can take control of everything including a person’s thoughts, feelings, attitude, behavior, and emotions. Here are some common causes of anxiety.
This is called rumination in psychological terms. This is when you make a big deal out of everything and every interaction you have seems negative. You think about everything from a person’s voice to their facial expressions.
It is enough to drive a person crazy. Overthinking makes you worried about the most unimportant details and hence causes anxiety.
It can be good sometimes if you are concerned about your goals and you get anxious about achieving them but feeling stressed about it all the time lead you to become more susceptible to anxiety and depression.
When you try for unrealistic high goals, you may suffer from failure and you never feel content about anything you achieved.
Low self esteem:
In today’s world of glamour and charm, you always think that you need to impress people but sometimes you are not able to do so. This feeling of insecurity about one’s self causes depression and anxiety.
Another kind of mind trap is that you always think about the worst things that can happen. Having a negative mind about anything around you makes it difficult to stay calm. And you always find something to worry about.
Any negative experience in the past that makes you scared and worried even after it ends up is called a traumatic event.
The anxiety that can cause after trauma is called post-traumatic anxiety. The person has a fear that maybe that worst event can take place again and constantly remains in a depressed state.
What are the impacts of anxiety on a relationship?
If you are in a relationship, those effects that anxiety does on you become multiplied. The reason is that when you are in a relationship the way you react to your own anxiety affects how you react to your partner’s anxiety.
So, the effects of anxiety on a relationship can either be positive or negative depending upon how you deal with the anxiety in a relationship.
If you understand your partner and can make him understand what you need, it is possible to get rid of anxiety within a short period of time.
Sometimes you don’t understand what is in his brain, and he doesn’t know what you are thinking at that moment either. In that situation, he may leave you or maybe you can leave him because both of you are thinking you are rejecting each other.
Anxiety in a relationship can increase the distance and sometimes you end up breaking up with a partner. But it all just depends on how you deal with an anxious partner.
How can you deal with an anxious partner?
In order to deal with the anxiety of your partner, first, you have to understand the cause of anxiety. For this, just talk to him and ask for the reasons.
Following tips can prove helpful to deal with your partner’s anxiety.
- Don’t take things personally. Understand that it’s not about you. It’s about his mental health problem and you are going to solve it.
- Have compassion. Understand that it’s not their fault that they are depressed.
- See the person as who he is. Do not judge him because of his depression. Think about the other qualities they have and appreciate them for those.
- Try to know what triggers his anxiety and then avoid doing or saying the things that cause him to become more anxious.
- Give them space. Create some boundaries and tell them that this is because you are concerned about them. Let them be with themselves.
- Educate yourself. You must have to know the causes, symptoms and the possible treatments of your partner’s anxiety.
- Enjoy the simple things. Try to live in the moment. Be happy and make them happy too.
- Get them to a therapist. Tell them that therapy can help them to get rid of this.
- Don’t be clingy. Don’t try to know about everything. It can irritate them.
- Take care of your own mental health. You can make others happy only if you are happy with yourself.
Why should you date someone with anxiety:
If you really love your partner and want him to recover from this state of depression, your heart and mind provide you with thousands of reasons why you should date your depressed partner.
Some of those reasons are:
- They are stronger than most. An ordinary person can not deal with such a worst mental illness bravely. Date your partner because he is brave enough to deal with depression.
- They are more understanding. No one can understand your situation better than the one who is already suffering from it.
- Their depression does not define them. Admire their abilities and love them for who they are, because any person can have depression no matter he is rich, poor, wealthy or whatever. History tells us that even the most renowned persons like Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill and Georgia O’keeffe have been fighting with depression.
- They are good listeners. A depressed person can only know what is worth listening to someone’s problems and worries.
- Most importantly, you should date them because you love them unconditionally. You need to stay connected to them to make them feel loved and secured.
How to date someone with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):
If you are dating someone with post-traumatic stress disorder, you have to first understand that this situation is real. It happens sometimes that a person experiencing some worst incident becomes so fearful that it causes him depression and anxiety. If your partner is suffering from PTSD, try to love him by being within the boundaries that he has created for himself. Maybe because, if you try to cross those boundaries, he will get a panic attack by remembering that incident.
Also, you have to make sure that they get proper treatment. Urge them into the treatment by telling them that this can help them a lot.
How would you know that someone with anxiety likes you?
Being in a relationship with someone who has anxiety can be enjoyable if your partner likes you despite all the stress he is suffering from. If your anxious partner really likes you, he will do the following things:
- He will assure you , again and again, that he loves you.
- He will pay close attention to whatever you say or do.
- Sometimes, he will get confused in front of you and his words won’t come out right.
- He will tell you whenever he gets depressed.
- He may tell you the reason for his depression.
- He may have sweaty and trembling hands.
- He will overthink everything including the relationship.
How should you help your partner with anxiety?
If you want to help your partner with anxiety, try the following tips.
- You can help him by eating right. As he may choose unhealthy and junk food in order to meet the energy needs of his body, because anxiety causes the body to consume more calories.
- Help them be more active. Tell them to exercise as it produces endorphin hormones that poke up our mood.
- Help them make a schedule as a set schedule will help your partner remain focused and will have stability.
- You and your partner can do yoga together or get couples massages.
- Do something with them that they find relaxing.
- Help them get quality sleep as many people with anxiety feel difficulty in sleeping. Help your partner to set a bedtime routine and find something soothing to make him asleep.
Is it normal to have a relationship anxiety?
Relationships are not easy to handle. There are quite a lot of insecurities and misunderstandings that can lead to anxiety. So a little bit of anxiety in a relationship is common and it is totally normal to get depressed about your relationship. But it should be kept in mind that this anxiety should not last long and all the issues between both the partners must get solved as soon as possible.
What to do if your partner is suffering from social anxiety:
People who are suffering from social anxiety tend to avoid gatherings and crowds. If your partner is someone who feels uncomfortable with other people, all you have to do is just tell him that you are there no matter what. Ask him about what is bothering him? Try to be the first to initiate something, they are running from. Once they face it, they will realize that it’s totally normal to be surrounded by other people. If they feel like having a panic attack, take them away from people at some calm place. But don’t give up trying. Socializing in the right way, at the right time can be very helpful to get rid of social anxiety.
Can being around someone with anxiety gives you anxiety?
Being in a relationship with an anxious person doesn’t necessarily make you anxious as long as you remain sane.
If your partner is depressed, you must take care of your own mental health, so that you remain able to deal with your partner’s anxiety. If you do not deal with the situation wisely, it is most likely that your partner’s anxiety will make you even more depressed than he is.
When should you give up on a relationship?
Before giving up on a relationship, you must think that it is not the solution to the problem. Anxiety in a relationship is mostly short-term and it can be cured or dealt with. So try to make all the possible efforts you can do to help your partner with depression.
Tell him that you want to stay. But if his anxiety still persists, and you feel like giving up is the only solution and it will not affect your life, then it is better to give up.
But before doing so, strive hard to save your relationship.
1. How to love someone with anxiety?
Be a good listener. Don’t blame your partner for their anxiety. Do research on causes, symptoms, and possible treatments of anxiety and then help them by understanding their problem. Be honest but don’t give advice if they don’t need it. Assure them that you love them.
2. What shouldn’t you say to your partner with anxiety?
If you are in a relationship with someone who has anxiety, avoid saying the following things to your partner:
- You are not trying hard enough.
- You need to work harder.
- It’s all in your head.
- You seem fine to me.
- You have no reasons to be depressed.
- I know how you feel.
Saying all these things to your partner can further aggravate the situation.
3. Can anxiety kill a relationship?
Yes, anxiety can kill a relationship if it is not dealt with properly. A person with anxiety makes boundaries and walls around him so he cannot be approached. The reason may be that a depressed person doesn’t want his near ones to get depressed because of him. In such a situation, if one doesn’t know how to break those walls efficiently, this defensive detachment may kill a relationship.
What are some tips for dating someone with anxiety?
If you are dating someone with anxiety, keep in mind the following tips.
- Focus on who they are, don’t judge them because of their mental state.
- Keep surprises for them.
- Tell them, you care about them.
- Ask them if they want a hug.
- Tell them, you are available if they need them.
- Ask if they want any help. Assure them , you love them.
- Get them outside. Nature can heal better.
- Order their favourite food. Let them enjoy every moment.
In a nutshell, we can say that anxiety is a very common reaction of people about life events. A little anxiety is beneficial to keep us going and to compete with the world around us. But if it persists and becomes worse, only a skilled person can deal with it.
Being in a relationship with someone who has anxiety gives you the experience to deal with the most common mental disorder. As you think of yourself as a caregiver, you try to become more compassionate and helpful. If you keep on doing this until your partner recovers, it is indeed a great success.
But, Care is better than the Cure, so you must take care of your partner so that he may not get stressed out about something. Only strong relationships can be easily saved if they become a victim of anxiety.