Are you loving someone who is depressed?
Is your partner suffering from an anxiety disorder? If yes, this will affect him as a whole. It influences the way how he feels about himself, how he thinks, how he acts, it will affect you. Such sort of depression will also have an impact on the overall relationship.
When you love someone who is depressed, it is so common for him to try to push you away and it sucks, it really hurts.
All you want is to help him but he doesn’t even want you to help. Such a situation is so painful and sometimes exhausting that most of the girls in the relationship just give up. Because they think that things are not getting back in the right direction despite all the efforts that they are doing to save the relationship. But remember, giving up is also not a solution, as it can create an even worse situation for you. Because if you really love him, breaking up with him can be more painful in the long run.
What you have to do is to seek knowledge of depression, its causes, and possible treatments, to understand why he is pushing you away and how you can deal with it, what can you do to bring him closer to you.
How do I know that my boyfriend has anxiety
Anxiety is different for everyone. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand whether a particular person is really pushing you away because of anxiety?
Here are some of the signs that you may observe in him if he is suffering from an anxiety disorder.
They don’t have energy:
Chronic anxiety can use up most of the body’s energy supply, so anxiety can leave a person feeling fatigued and exhausted. Just doing a small task requires a substantial amount of energy to complete.
They often gets migraines and headaches:
Anxiety manifests itself in the body’s muscles and creates tension in and around the head and shoulders. Because of this, headaches are common.
If your partner seems to suffer from headaches often, with no other apparent reason, they may suffer from anxiety.
They tend to shout at you:
Anxiety tends to hinder patience, therefore, those with chronic anxiety may be more prone to shouting at others. They may do this out of anger or they might be thinking nobody understands them.
They are unpredictable:
Anxiety sometimes makes a person feel happy, at the other moment, he might feel sad or even sometimes he is unable to feel anything. If it happens that sometimes your boyfriend calls you to hang out, but he is so totally changed the next moment that he refuses to go anywhere with you. This unpredictable behavior shows he is suffering from an anxiety disorder.
They often get tummy problems and choose junk food:
Anxiety can cause stomach aches and digestive issues such as irritable bowel syndrome. Biologically, when a person feels stressed he tries to hide their feelings with the food, their body goes into a survival mood and obtains calories to make up for lost energy. If you see your partner eating more frequently and choosing junk food, this may be an indicator of anxiety.
My boyfriend has anxiety and he ignores me, why?
Well, if you want to know the actual reason why your boyfriend is pushing you away because of anxiety, you must talk to him first to figure out what is compelling him to push you away.
There could be many possible reasons. Perhaps, he is pushing you away because you are more established professionally than he is. Perhaps, because he doesn’t feel good enough for you. Perhaps, because he has some existential issues or he has not been able to live up to the potential or where he thought he would be at this stage of his life. And being with you reminds him of what he has not accomplished yet and so despite the fact that he loves you, he feels compelled to push you away because you remind them that they are not where they are supposed to be.
The other reason is that sometimes men push a woman away when they feel guilty. Maybe, because they cheated. Maybe, because their feelings of love changed or maybe they do not have the courage to be in the relationship anymore.
I’m confused, he loves me but pushes me away, how can I deal with it?
Understand why he is pushing you away. If you want to know the actual reason, you should talk to him.
- He might be thinking that he is not worthy of love. Just make him realize through your love that he means everything to you. Try to say out the words that can change his mindset. For example, “You are everything I need”, ” what would I do without you”, “you might be right, but I love you”. Such sort of sentences can help him think in your favour.
- Sometimes men push a woman away out of anger. Just because you are more clingy and always try to stick with him no matter what. Just give him some space. Don’t be so clingy about everything. Let him do what he wants to and do not try to know about everything. It might make him angry and start to push you away.
- If he is pushing you away because of sadness, make him feel happy by doing things he likes. Get him outside and spend some quality time with him. Ask him if you can do anything for him and assure him that you are always there to help.
- If he thinks like I am dragging her too into this depressive world along with me and he tells you to stay away, you have to prove that his sadness belongs to you too, just like you share the happiness together. Just say, ” Do not think like that. You are not bothering me in any way. I am happy to help you get out of this sadness”.
- It’s important to discuss and create boundaries. Sometimes , all he needs is some space. So be patient, talk to him about his concerns and explain the boundaries you need to create within your relationship.
- Last but not the least, do not blame yourself for anything. Remember, that it’s not about you or even if it is, just try to change yourself without blaming yourself. You first have to take care of your own mental health in order to help him get out of this depressive state.
How can help your boyfriend if he pushes you away because of anxiety
Following things can prove beneficial in helping your boyfriend if he is depressed and pushes you away:
- Ask him questions to guide him and to make him feel better.
- Don’t take things personally.
- Educate yourself about depression, its causes , symptoms and possible treatments.
- Be realistic about how you can help your partner.
- Ask for help from family and friends.
- Find a therapist for him if he needs it.
- Don’t be clingy.
- Don’t blame yourself.
- Try to change yourself positively , if you think it can help.
How to get a guy back who pushed you away?
Get him back by being a challenge for him. Don’t be clingy. Don’t ask him questions all the time. Create some boundaries. Try to be unique. Talk to him about what you can do to help him and do accordingly.
What should I say to my boyfriend who pushes me away because of anxiety?
All you have to say is, ” look, I care about you, I believe in you, you can get through this, I’m not going to leave you, I will help you get out of this state”.
Depression is a mental illness which makes a person unpredictable. In this state, a depressed person sometimes needs to be left alone and sometimes they need someone to help them. So just get to know what your partner actually wants and do according to that. If he wants you to stay away, it’s okay to stay away for some time without making him realize that you left them. Give him some space and meanwhile spend that time with yourself to figure out why he pushes you away and what help he needs. Work on your skills to get him back and then start your efforts by staying positive to get the most desirable results.